Not Me Monday (College Student Style)

This week has been ripe with Not Me! Moments.

Specifically I am dedicating this week to the college students in my life and their not so fine moments.

Because let me tell you, I don’t know if there was a full moon or something (because I don’t pay attention to that kind of stuff) but good gravy…these kids were driving me crazy this week.

Seriously.

So much so that I did not have to remind myself on several occasions that students’ ability to screw up is my job security.

Nope.

I always love my interactions with students and would never, ever think (in my head of course, never out loud) that I really really want to say “Please put your big boy/girl pants on.“

(or for that matter, just pull your pants up. I don't need to know what kind of underwear you're wearing...or not wearing as the case maybe)

But, I digress.

Oh, and while you’re dealing with your pants, here’s some scissors.

Cut the umbilical cord.

I don’t want to talk to your parents because your feelings got hurt.

Suck it up.

Seriously.

I was not asked by a college student this week (in response to me telling him he couldn't have his way about a particular issue)  “Who do I need to talk to about this?”.

I did not politely respond, with a smile on my face, “Me.”

And, oh no he didn’t, then ask “Well who’s in charge?”

And, not not so politely this time but still with a smile still on my face, I most definitely did not sassily respond “Me. Anymore questions?”

I was not awoken at 1 a.m. Saturday morning, have to go to campus and not return home to sleep until 5 a.m.

In the process of dispersing a student crowd at 2 a.m. (ya know, because that's what I want to be doing at 2 a.m. rather than sleeping in my nice warm bed...oh...becuase it (did I tell you?) was 30 degrees outside and I was freezing my patootie off...but that's another story)  after politely introducing myself to students and sending them on their way, I was not approached by a student who shook my hand and stated “You’re cute. Can I have your phone number?”

Seriously.

I did not say “You’re young, dumb and drunk. Go to bed.”

Actually, I really didn’t say that.

I promise.

But I most definitely thought it.

(But kudos to this young man and his friend for the use of flattery as an attempted diversion technique.)

I did not have a student say “who the “f$#% are you?” to me while I was on campus…

at 2 a.m.

Not the best time to make me angry.

Really.

I did not have the overwhelming urge to “bop him in the mouth” like he was a two year old for not using his words nicely.

Are you kidding me?

Seriously.

Who says that?

(Oh, on a side note, karma's a b$t*h becuase this student has a judicial board hearing this week. Guess who chairs the judicial board?)

Not me.

Sucks to be you, buddy.

Seriously.

But...on a happier note...

I am not now much more comfortable in my new job that I may or may not be letting the tried and true sassy, back talking, take no prisioners TQ attitude come out.

This new found level of comfort did not lead to a true TQ moment in a meeting and I did not utter the phrase “ninner, ninner, ninner”.

Seriously.

This was not one of those weeks.

Thank goodness it’s over.

Seriously.

Not not kidding.