A Control Freak Says Good-Bye

As excited as I am for this next step in my life, the process of saying good-bye has begun and it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. I have done a pretty decent job of not allowing myself to get too connected to anything in Sioux City so I truly did not believe it would be that difficult to say goodbye to folks.

I was wrong.

Yesterday was my last night with a family I have done home health care for part-time for the past few years. I have come to quite enjoy their company and had really stopped thinking of it as work. They are two of the dearest and kindest people I know. Saying good-bye was much more difficult than I had anticipated.

Next week we will have a farewell reception at work. While I am looking forward to the opportunity to be able to say good-bye to people, I am not looking forward to the fact that I will likely be an emotional mess by the time it is all said and done.

If someone were to ask me how I was feeling right now, I am not entirely sure I could tell them. I know I am feeling, but there is sooooooo much going on right now that “how” I feel changes on a moment’s notice.

I think (actually I am almost 100% certain) that most of the reason for this discontent is that having all these emotions means I am not in control.

Which I don’t like.

Because in case you didn’t know…

I am a control freak.

Like, seriously.

A freak.

About control.

Not kidding.

And given that my life is quite literally in disarray (as can be witnessed by looking in my house right now) the control freak in me is….

Well….

Freaking out.

Seriously.